Extracts from A Blues For Shindig - House Cleaning Blues

My mind is in overdrive and I go in my room and poke around in my books, getting worried, hold them by the spines and shake them. ‘Think!' I demand of myself, this always stops my brain dead and I know that the memory will surface in its own good time but I need to know if the blank scripts have gone and who had them. Or perhaps they aren't important and they were searching for something else. But Billy's room was hardly touched. I go and have a look at it now, it's scarcely disturbed. I know I've put them somewhere safe. I always hide cheques and stuff in books so where the fuck are they? I go and sit on the bog seat and talk to BB.

‘So what happened to your choppers then?' I must find out.

‘They told me to strip and I refused. Only had kecks on and a singlet, didn't I? But there were three of them all laughing at me and I couldn't bear it.' He looks at me, shrugs.

‘They're such bastards, aren't they? Taking the piss, speculating about my ring, Nasty, so I refused, two of them got hold of me and my face hit the bog. Don't think it was intentional just incidental damage.'

‘They get a quack in?'

‘No.'

‘You ask for one?'

‘No. I know what you're going to say; I should get them for assault, but I'm not about to do that. If you remember, they made my life a misery once before and it's never worth it. A shame, unjust, I'm not sufficiently brave, take your pick but I'm simply not up to it, sorry.' His voice has all its old vibrancy back, and then some. Vitriolic as ever, thank God. He has bruises on his arms and shoulders.

‘I wasn't going to say that at all, BB, I know what it's like, getting out alive is all!'

‘Sweetie, you know what?' he says, and reaches a wet hand to my dry one.

‘What's that then?'

‘I think my bottle's gone.'

He looks at me to see if I'm responding and I try to suss what he wants me to say. ‘So?'

That seems bland enough. He looks up sideways. ‘Think I might go and get a straight job, take Angelo away to the seaside, get a B and B.'

‘Very appropriate, BB, but we know you're dreaming, you'd be bored shitless if you left London . What's that doctor Johnson said?'

‘It's not London I'm tired of, it's all this dodgy life. Now I've got Angelo, I want to settle down. And you should too, I worry about you girl!'

‘Bollocks, BB, settle down if you want to baby, but leave me out of it. I've got a job. Anyway, Angelo's got his dancing.'

‘He could dance at the seaside.'

‘What? On the end of the pier?' I wonder what's behind this new line. Fear I guess.